STUFF THAT RHYMES AND SOMETIMES DOESN'T
only read if you're not averse
to folly in the form of verse
Life isn’t always fair on Earth. But elsewhere it could be worse... It’s not fair, mum, you never listen to me. I told you ten times - I’m hungry. Billy and his mum were walking in town. He was dragging behind her wearing a frown. You see, on one rule she stood very strong: Treats between meals was wrong, wrong, wrong. No Billy, no. You want me to suffer or starve, even worse! You’re the horrible-est mum on the face of the earth. The only response of course, to ignore him; But the silent treatment was starting to bore him. So with a sweet voice he asked for a toy, If he got it, he promised he wouldn’t annoy. No Billy, no. If I don’t get one, I will run away. Then you’ll wish you’d been nicer today. Billy’s mum laughed, told him not to be silly. But he would not listen, that naughty boy Billy. He whinged and he whined, and at the next stop, Embarrassed, she made him wait outside the shop. Stay put, Billy. I can’t believe that you’re leaving me here; I’ll be bored and lonely, you’ll be gone a year! His sobbing was heard by a passing ship. Not one in the sea but one that goes ‘pip’. It had flown here from many lights years away To make peace with humans... but not today. The aliens were shocked by the little boy’s sobs. What sort of monsters were these pink blobs? Two arms, two legs but no heart to be seen (kept it in the armpit – much easier to clean!). What’s more, they must provide terrible homes If one were to go by these pitiful moans. They were about to leave, put their ship in reverse When they heard Billy’s protests get worse and worse. It’s not fair, I hate it, I hate everyone. If I could fly, I would, I’d be gone. Flerplegop boop, said one alien to the other, Which roughly translated means ‘Hang on, pull over. We can’t leave him here, the kid’s so upset... Let’s take him with us. He’ll make a good pet.’ I’m so totally bored of all this waiting. I hate this.... Hang on, I’m levitating! Billy beamed onto a flying machine Where the crew of two were an odd shade of green. They greeted him warmly aboard his flight, But Billy, as usual, was not that polite. Alien abduction! You’re taking me away? That’s just typical! Why me, why today? Extra-terrestrials aren’t all ill-meaning, Multi-legged freakoids even have feeling. Flerp was loving (and longed to play mum) And Gurp was as playful as aliens come. He would have seen had he not been so snappy Things that are sure to make normal boys happy: Weightlessness, fun and space exploration... Endless attention, ten-armed adoration. You’re weird little men and I don’t like green. Let me go now or I’ll scream, scream, scream. EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee! The piercing noise sent control panels flashing. The spaceship lurched wildly, in danger of crashing. Gurp and Flerp exchanged looks of sorrow. Their wild pet would need re-housing tomorrow. They gave him dream potion and Billy slept great. He woke up all chirpy, ate breakfast of cake. He smiled at the aliens, but they waved goodbye And sent him a-tumbling out into the sky. Unhappy ending What happened to Billy is anyone’s guess. If only he’d valued the gift of kindness... Or even enjoyed the things that he had, Maybe it wouldn’t have turned out so bad. One thing we know he’s still hanging about. If you’re ever in orbit you might hear him shout. I hate it out here in space all alone. But Billy is a long long way from his home. Happy ending Usually he’d moan about how it’s not fair, But there’s time to ponder when up in the air. He began to see that his fate was amazing, He was light as a feather, he was real star-gazing. I’m an astronaut boy, wow, this is so clever! I wish I could stay in the sky forever. It was not to be: a shuttle came by And plucked little Billy right out of the sky. The crew were about to abandon their mission And head back to earth – wait! I’ve made a decision I love life, the stars, the universe, Let me stay, I’ll be good, I’ll be nice, I won’t curse. The crew decided to take Billy on. A child astronaut – the very first one! He became famous, found planets and travelled afar... And finally Billy thanked his lucky stars. |
Why putting too much on your face can cause you to look a disgrace!
Red and yellow and pink and green, Purple and orange and blue; You put on too much make-up, You need to wake up, You look like a baboon. You think it makes you cute, You think it makes you cute, You think it makes you so grown-up. All those blobs of colour Clash with each other - Like someone’s just thrown up. Lipstick, powder and eye-shadow, Liner and mascara thick. You put on too much make-up, You need to wake up, You’re orange as a brick. You just look really strange You just look really strange Like a walking piece of modern art. You really look too crass though, You’re no Picasso Though you look the part! Foundation and a touch of rouge, Gloss on your lips shining through. You put on too much make-up, You need to wake up, Stop wearing all that goo. Just be who you are, Just be who you are, The mirror doesn't bring you luck. You’re skin is young still, Will stay so until You smother it in muck. The natural face is what’s in these days. Don’t hide in your powder brush. Just try looking your age, It’s quite a voyage. Enjoy it And Don’t Blush. |